the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
