You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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