FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
