It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
