She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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