Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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