first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
