you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize