quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
