Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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