I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize