she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
