I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
