I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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