You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
