Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
