Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
