and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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