for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
