Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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