did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
