i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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