he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
