i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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