So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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