you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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