It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
