Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
