just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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