I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it's like iHOP with fire
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
