I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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