wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
