I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
