Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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