He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
