making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
