The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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