this boner is exhausting
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
