They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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