A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
