I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
