I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
