I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize