I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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