if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
