He is such a slut. More and more my type.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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