i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
