BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
