Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
