i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I party with great urgency now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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