Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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