Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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