you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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