no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
