Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
