i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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