Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
