I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We have started to decorate penises.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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