her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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